The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas #1
OPENING: June 19, 1978
CLOSING: March 27, 1982
Seen: October 1979
LOCATION: 46th Street Theater
If there was one phrase that defined my childhood, it was “You can’t make this shit up.”
My life growing up was a bit on the unusual side. There were situations in school that through no fault of my own that I found myself in that were…interesting. The number of times I had to convince people that I was not making something up numbered higher than the kids who did routinely make things up.
It makes sense, then, that I became extremely observant and started writing all of it down.
This strategy of finding some kind of fantastical true story is not unique to me. These incredible stories make up at least the bases of most of the mainstream media of today.
One prime example of this was 1978’s Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
Best Little Whorehouse gives us the story of Miss Mona, Madam of a brothel affectionately known as “The Chicken Ranch.” When a bible thumping evangelist by the name of Melvin P. Thorpe arrives in town, he decides that Miss Mona’s is ungodly and decides that it’s time to shut the place down for good.
The real life whorehouse was actually called the chicken ranch, and it was located in La Grange, Texas. “Aunt” Jessie Williams opened it up in 1915 and managed to keep it afloat during the great depression by allowing her clients to work on a barter system as opposed to always paying her cash. One of the main forms of currency that she allowed? Chickens. There was method to this madness: One, it ensured that her girls always had at least eggs to feed themselves with, and two, because it was essentially a working chicken farm, it kept The Law away.
Quite brilliant, actually.
In 1952, a woman by the name of Edna Milton arrived at the chicken ranch, after hitting every hard knock life could throw at her. Nine years later, she bought the ranch from Aunt Jessie and ran it until TV personality Marvin Zindler ran an expose which ultimately shut the place down in 1973. Sound familiar?
When the musical opened in 1978, audiences enjoyed it. Peter Masterson tried to poll audience members at a performance one evening and while he couldn’t get out of them what they liked about it, they did enjoy it. And why wouldn’t they? At its heart, the musical is about a stalwart community “Organization” fighting for its life. It’s the kind of story that warms the heart of theatergoers worldwide.
The critics weren’t so kind. Richard Eder, the same man who the following year would storm the preview gates of Sarava, thought the production was stilted with a weak plotline. He didn’t understand the opening prologue – in which Edna Milton herself appeared – and it seems that he only appreciated a handful of the dance numbers (Though he did seem to love Pamela Blair, who had previously originated the role of Val in A Chorus Line.
But the lukewarm reception from Eder and his contemporaries didn’t seem to matter. Whether it was right away or a slow swell (I am not sure which, I cannot find sufficient evidence in either direction), Best Little Whorehouse in Texas became immensely popular. I have seen some production photos; between the warmth that Carlin Glynn exuded as Miss Mona and the ridiculousness of Clinton Allmon’s Melvin Thorpe wig, I don’t think audience could help but enjoy themselves. It became even more popular in 1982 when Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds made the movie which over time has become a cult classic. It was popular enough that I found a VHS copy of the film while I was looking through my aunt’s movie shelf as a preteen. She nixed it as a suggestion immediately due to my age at the time. It’s still there, waiting for someone to pop it in and relive it.
Was she with my dad when he saw it in 1979? Again, I don’t know and there is no way to verify. But in this case, I would like to think she was. When I did a production of it in 2019, her reaction to our own extremely talented and well-cast Miss Mona was so strong that I am absolutely convinced that she wanted Dolly herself to walk down the stairs of our set. Between her and my dad, she is usually the less vocal one when it comes to casting disappointments (There have been a few over my performing career that my dad has been very loud about). But Dolly’s presence has almost lifted Best Little Whorehouse into Cult Classic Status.
Best Little Whorehouse ran until March 27th, 1982. In May of that year, it was brought back for a short run after the release of the movie. It was revived for a one night performance in 2006, but has not been revived since. There was recently talk to bringing it back with Kristin Chenoweth but this project never materialized. Maybe with a rewrite of the book (A treatment that many older shows have received recently) it will reappear again soon. Only time will tell.
CAST: REPLACEMENT
RIO GRANDE BAND: Craig Chambers (Band Leader, Guitar), JR Pruneda (Bass), Lynn Frazier (Steel Guitar), Pete Blue (Piano), Michael Holleman (Drums), Ernie Reed (The Fiddler)
GIRLS: Monica Tiller, Karen Sutherland, Donna King, Nancy Lynch, Louise Quick-Bowen
COWBOYS: Paul Ukena, Jr, Michael Scott
FARMER: Clinton Allmon
SHY KID: Gerry Burkhardt
MISS WULLA JEAN: Debra Zalkind
TRAVELING SALESMAN: Jay Garner
SLICK DUDE: K.C. Kelly
CHOIR: Jay Bursky, Becky Gelke, Diana Broderick, Edwina Lewis, Jan Merchant, Lara Teeter
AMBER: Tina Johnson
SHY: Cheryl Ebarb
JEWEL: Delores Hall
MONA STANGLEY: Carlin Glynn
THE GIRLS AT MISS MONA’S:
LINDA LOU: Donna King
DAWN: Monica Tiller
GINGER: Louise Quick-Bowen
BEATRICE: Jan Merchant
TADDY JO: Karen Sutherland
RUBY RAE: Becky Gelke
ELOISE: Diana Broderick
DURLA: Debra Zalkind
LEROY SLINEY: Lara Teeter
The Dogettes: Gerry Burkhardt, Jay Bursky, Stephen McNaughton, Michael Scott
MELVIN P. THORPE: Clinton Allmon
SOUNDMAN: K.C. Kelly
STAGE MANAGER: Tom Cashin
MELVIN P. THORPE SINGERS: Becky Gelke, Karen Sutherland, Lara Teeter, Jan Merchant, Paul Ukena Jr., Diana Broderick
SHERRIFF ED EARL DODD: Henderson Forsythe
CAMERAMAN: Tom Cashin
C.J. SCRUGGS: Jay Garner
MAYOR RUFUS POINDEXTER: J. Frank Lucas
EDSEL MACKEY: Don Crabtree
DOATSEY MAE: Bobbi Jo Lathan
TOWNSPEOPLE: Lara Teeter, Debra Zalkind, Karen Sutherland, Paul Ukena Jr, Jan Merchant, Diana Broderick
T.V. ANNOUNCER: Larry L. King
ANGELETTE IMOGENE CHARLENE: Monica Tiller
ANGELETTES: Becky Gelke, Diana Broderick, Donna King, Debra Zalkind, Jan Merchant
CHIP BREWSTER: Jay Garner
SENATOR WIGWOAH: J. Frank Lucas
AGGIE #21: Stephen McNaughton
AGGIE #71: Michael Scott
AGGIE #11: Jay Bursky
UKRANIAN PLACEKICKER - AGGIE #1: K.C. Kelly
AGGIE #17: Paul Ukena Jr.
AGGIE #12 - SPECIALTY DANCE: Tom Cashin
AGGIE #77: Lara Teeter
PHOTOGRAPHERS: Michael Scott, Stephen McNaughton, Jay Bursky, Paul Ukena Jr.
REPORTER #1: Bobbi Jo Lathan
REPORTER #2: Stephen McNaughton
GOVERNOR’S AIDE: Jay Bursky
GOVERNOR: Jay Garner
REPORTER #3: Michael Scott
UNDERSTUDIES: Bobbi Jo Lathan (Miss Mona); Don Crabtree (Sherriff, C.J. Scruggs, Mayor Rufus Poindexter, Senator Wigwoah); Becky Gelke (Shy, Ginger); Jan Merchant (Doatsey Mae); Gerry Burkhardt (Governor, Melvin P. Thorpe); Monica Tiller (Amber); Edwina Lewis (Jewel); Stephen McNaughton (Edsel Mackey, Narrator); and Laura Ackerman (Dawn).
Bordman, Gerald. “American Musical Theatre: A Chronicle.” New York: Oxford University Press, Inc., 1978.
Eder, Richard. “Play: ‘Best Little House in Texas.’” New York Times, April 18, 1978. https://www.nytimes.com/1978/04/18/archives/play-best-little-house-in-texas-entermedia-theater-stages-musical.html
Fox, Courtney. “’The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas’: The Real Story That Inspired the Dolly Parton Film.” Wide Open Country, January 27, 2022. https://www.wideopencountry.com/the-best-little-whorehouse-in-texas-real-story/
Harper, Karen Brooks. “Author Jayme Blaschke Is Setting The Record Straight on Texas’ Most Famous Brothel. Dallas Observer, July 8, 2016. https://www.dallasobserver.com/arts/author-jayme-blaschke-is-setting-the-record-straight-on-texas-most-famous-brothel-8469318
Internet Broadway Database. “Best Little Whorehouse In Texas”. Accessed May 2023. www.ibdb.com
Internet Broadway Database. “Pamela Blair”. Accessed May 2023. www.ibdb.com
Masterson, Peter. “From The Archives: Peter Masterson Reflects On The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas A Year After It’s Opening.” Playbill, June 19, 2018. https://www.playbill.com/article/from-the-archives-peter-masterson-reflects-on-the-best-little-whorehouse-in-texas-a-year-after-its-opening
